A Room of One's Own

Ti-lakkhana

2010-05-28T01:50:00.000-07:00

in remembering the words of the Buddha on this auspicious day of enlightenment...

"All conditioned things are impermanent"
"All conditioned things are unsatisfactory"
"All things are not-self"
when one sees these with wisdom,
one turns away from suffering.
This is the path to purification.

(modified verses of 277-279, Dhammapada)

Anicca, Dukkha, and Anatta are the three characteristics of existence as expounded by the Enlightened One. Through experiential understanding and objective observation of conditional phenomena that arise and cease from moment to moment will we gain insight into the reality and profound nature of existence which are bound by impermanency, unsatisfactoriness and non-self.

Happy Vesak Day to all
Bhavatu Sabba Mangalam

Retrospect, Prospectively

2009-12-28T21:55:00.000-08:00

…many roads we take
Some to joy, some to heartache
Anyone can lose the way
And if I said we could turn it back
Right back to the start
Would you take the chance and make the change?

- Kate Winslet, What If

Too often we reflect our past mistakes with regrets and resentment. It would be easy to say we regretted them but what does it really mean when we had no choice for our actions were bound by the conditions that existed at that time. This nevertheless does not imply that past actions or the consequences of such actions are morally justified as they are volitional or deliberate undertakings and therefore, cannot be reversed. Conversely it also does not imply we have remote locus of control over the future which is often constraint by conditional factors and external forces. Simply it manifests the need to contemplate the past for a review of performance and to build on existing paradigm for the betterment without over-projecting future capabilities or creating expectation beyond current capacity. This neither suggests one to be pessimist nor optimist, but a realist to foresee and anticipate the uncertainty of the future with an open heart coupled with reasonable amount of skepticism.

The note above contains essence of and is inspired by the teachings of Jewish Mysticism which I personally find it relevant in today's context of dynamic environment where self-help through rationalization is paramount in our pursuit of happiness. Rationalization is nevertheless subject to our cognitive bias on perceived facts and bound understanding of the nature. Therefore it does not in whole validate pragmatism as an ethically justifiable approach especially when it compromises religious and individual moral stance. In conclusion, adopting an eclectic approach or the middle path is perhaps the best guide to life. Welcoming 2010 and beyond! Wishing you all the best, and good luck!

Coklat

2009-12-24T06:40:00.000-08:00

This is my personal interpretation on 'Chocolate', Yasmin Ahmad's final, and perhaps most controversial feature to date made exclusively for the 15Malaysia art direction.

The short film started off with the mother scolding the son for letting go an opportunity to study abroad. A typical scenario that highlights the mentality well-established among the minorities who realize such opportunities are scarce and a deemed windfall. Projecting from the current standing, the mother firmly believes that their future position will be challenged and constrained as there will be minimal if any, room for progress and prosperity. By making themselves seen inherently hunger for opportunities, the minorities soon learn to be opportunist and advantage seeker. The son who nevertheless opposes by turning down the offer signifies his strong feelings against such labels placed on them. Perhaps hopeful still for a pleasant future here, the following incidents provide further evidence on the clashes in attitude and approaches among the senior and younger generation.

Then comes a Malay girl. The implicit intent of buying battery represents her denial to the common belief that the majorities are always surrendering or at comfort of being ‘fed’. It therefore expresses her attempt to seek empowerment and independence, while the mistaken milk bottle may be interpreted as a cynical act to demonstrate the said common perception. His initial hostile mistreatment is then taken by a second gentler approach, indicating a sense of guilt and vulnerability, or perhaps charmed by her beauty of youth and simple modesty. In the very second, a subtle but evolving connection is established between the two and close observation could tell that the conversation leads to a split moment where racial-conscious is absent; no impediment of racial bias whatsoever but a mere honest and mutual attraction.

The continual racial discrimination in the society is nevertheless too chronic, that it outweighs any possibility of creating a common understanding, agreement and sharing. Thusly the intolerance to accept a lower price than what is offered manifests that the prejudice created is too ‘heavy’ to be lifted as the minorities are so conditioned to merely accept what is fair and just. The deemed insignificant five cents clearly portrays this. The yelling mother and her disapproval of him conversing with the Malay girl reminded the boy of how they are treated as such. Consequently, being denied from exercising an independent judgment or discretion of his own, he turns down the sale and succumbs to the influence of his mother. Letting go the chance of creating a friendship, he slams the chocolate with regrets and frustration.

To recap, the milk bottle signifies dependency and biasness of the government in favouring the majority, while the scholarship represents an opportunity to be released from such injustice. A growing sense of prejudice and hatred is thus created towards those who are given unjustified privileges at the expense of others being marginalized. Such strong prejudice ingrained since early ages leads to selfish pursuant being ethically justified in a climate of unequal distribution of wealth and opportunity. This may also portrays how those who have benefited but now seeking for independence are disabled in their attempts as the environment is neither supportive nor conducive of such.

Chocolate may, as the name suggest, characterize the skin colour. It also manifests the taste of happiness we could all cherish if not of the asymmetric and dubious government policies in their attempt to be populous and to secure political position. In the end, the chocolate which was supposedly shared, failed its purpose. This simple yet profound portrayal of two ordinary souls in a setting most common explains how when different ethnic groups meet the prejudice embedded within the consciousness will manifest inherently through their responses. A lack of sincere and genuine sharing is thusly resulted.

Perhaps conceptually-bound and naive as it may sound, the long-desired and shared taste of equality can only be realized if the misalignment and conflicting interests among Malaysians are harmonized, the legitimate claims of the society at large are taken into consideration and the distribution of fairness is made with greater transparency and integrity. Chocolate is definitely another signature piece of hers, and in my humble opinion, the most abstract and defined work of art.

To Cease, Abruptly

2009-08-01T08:02:00.000-07:00

EULOGY"look at this ocean of minds... if we don't swim in it, why are we here for?"

- Yasmin Ahmad (1958-2009)

On the very day I got to know she suffered a stroke, I went online and sent her a get-well message via Facebook. Dedicating all my prayers in hope for her speedy recovery, it was to my disbelieved that she lost the battle and finally succumbed to death within hours after the collapse. I was devastated, ironically not so much of the tragic death, but that my message to her will never reach and that her inspiring messages conveyed through her artistic work will no longer deliver. This incident leads to a peculiar notion of how sudden death brings an end to our ‘work’ while some of these unfinished ones become abandon, unattended or remain idle, indefinitely. It is the idea of how craving survives life and that taking away of life disabled craving. The unwilling cessation of craving is then seen too brutal, unforgiving and beyond acceptance.

To reflect on how life could sometimes end so abruptly is to understand how fragile, temporary and hollow it is, yet we continue to live with strong attachment. Perhaps what remain at the end of the day is our contribution, the invaluable gift that is seemingly imprint for the appreciation of others manifested through the work. It is therefore the sudden death of Yasmin that breaks the silence of her continuous attempt to question and provoke the sensitive issues in Malaysia. Infamous indeed for her often unpolished yet poignant approach in film-making, she has attracted endless controversies particularly in respect of her frank discussion on sex, racial, religion and cultural themes.

Driven by her undying passion and through the medium of art, she restlessly challenges stereotypical Malaysians to open up and sight for the possibility of going beyond the current standing. She never fail to encourage the society to work against established norms for the betterment, a conscious perhaps already ingrained within but left suppressed or unspoken for fear of social stigma.

All her interracial romance and family-themed films attempt to explore the essence of the core and taken-for-granted assumptions among Malaysian. Her works bring us away from the continual examination and magnification of racial, religious and cultural differences but to realize and appreciate our common identity as mere human who can righteously love and be loved regardless of ideology and attribute differences.

It is always the case that when death strikes, our ego and skin colour ceases to matter, enemies turn to friends and we look not our differences but begin to cherish our similarities. Too often we conflict with our love ones only to know that if they no longer exist, we would deeply regret our mistreatment towards them and yearn to have done things differently, if time can unwind. Indeed, regret and guilt are the most difficult emotions to cope with and the possibility of a sudden death reminds us to live nobly and compassionately while we still can.

It is perhaps her ambitious attempt to educate, instill and perpetuate the idea of harmony in all different angles, and love and forgiveness being the ultimate key messages she tries to communicate in her films and advertisements. For that Yasmin, your works of art will be thoughtfully and deeply missed. Al-Fatihah.

PS: This post is exclusively dedicated to my best friend whom I care and love. I hereby sincerely apologize for all the mistakes done, strongly believing they were unintentional and of pure ignorance.

The Calendar

2008-12-24T22:20:00.000-08:00

Finally we have come to the end of the year and will soon step into the unforeseen future of 2009. Sinking gradually into world financial crisis and inflating cost of living amidst the chaotic political scene in Malaysia, 2008 is indeed a year of international affairs to include the overrated green Beijing Summer Olympics, the much-sensationalized US presidential election, and the recent Mumbai terrorist attack. Similarly looking at a micro point of view, there have been much unfavourable or less anticipated events occurred in my life throughout 2008. After all, the remains of yesterday are historical but the certainty of the future rests a game of possibilities and probabilities.

Therefore the future, signified by the new calendar year implies the idea of sighting ahead and to depart from the past. Previous benchmarks are to be reviewed but do not despair if resolutions were underperformed. Every counting year begins with renewed vision and dreams. Together with improved modes of execution, greater understanding and accelerated momentum, let us hope for the best as the New Year approaches. Wishing you all the best of luck!

…keep on the road you're on,
Runners, until the race is run,
Soldiers, you've got to soldier on,
sometimes even right is wrong……

...tonight maybe we're gonna run,
Dreaming of the Osaka sun...
Dreaming of when the morning comes…

- Coldplay, Lovers in Japan

Leading Life, Exhausting Existence

2008-12-20T21:55:00.000-08:00

(from the viewpoint of an Aspriring Theravadin)

The sanctity of life is unquestionable. We lived, living still and will continue to live until our consciousness ceases. But then, living itself often triggers a sense of unworthiness for failing to identify the meaning and purpose of life; precisely, the sort of life to lead that will meet its very objective which is nevertheless, undefined still by many.

Out of convenience and ignorance, we allow ourselves to flow into the mainstream of established norms and conventions, so as to be deemed related to or secured for being a part of the larger, predominant community. Having built a family life, securing a successful career and being financially viable are classic examples of the supposed, conventional life pursuant. The measure of success becomes dependent on these benchmarks as they have unconsciously transformed into a shared standard for achievement. Fear of being marginalized, we become gradually and forcefully engaged to this stereotypical idea of life. Even when such ‘ideal model’ of life is much accomplished, we then become too exhausted to engross in its seemingly endless routines. As a result, such trivial regularities become purely mechanical and meaningless. This is when one unexcitedly questions the meaning and purpose of life.

As evolution sets in, the influence of norms and conventions deteriorates as we choose to conflict and develop into ‘trend setters’ in pursue of our personalized, desired life. Hence, narrowing down life pursuant to mere self-satisfying and heavily embarked on the idea that life is now and to live life fullest, we soon become pure indulgent of worldly pleasures even at the expense of others. Unguarded by values or principles, our self-centeredness grows out of control and subsequently to the extent that we begin to approve or become defensive of our narcissistic behaviors. Behaving in an increasingly joyless compulsion, life is then seen too ‘weightless’ to have meaningful motives. As a result, we unconsciously become slaves of our egos which no amount selfish pursuant can ever be fulfilled.

And when we get totally lost in direction, we seek guidance and refuge in the teachings of religion. The meaning and purpose of life is definitely answerable when posed to a religious person, as he may boldly claim to be living a pious life as defined by or in accordance with his religion. Still, a perfected religious life of rigidity is often impossible in this complex, developing environment. The teachings of religion are constantly challenged to justify uncertainties and relevance. Nevertheless, an absolute assurance is never obtainable. Even among themselves are subjected to varying interpretation and the justification of right and wrong can sometimes be so arbitrary and contradicting that no definite answer is ever achieved. It is interesting to see how some claim to uphold a religious life but personalized it to suit worldly needs and responsibilities. But to what extent such incorporated flexibility not deviate from the teachings or defeat the purpose of religion altogether?

It is only when crisis strikes that we repeatedly question the purpose and meaning of life. Due to ignorance and inadequate understanding, these unresolved questions are left pending and undefined, perhaps indefinitely. Again and again we deliberately motivate ourselves to live the present life but often cannot help having recurring thoughts on the purpose and meaning of life and beyond.

We must agree that to achieve happiness is what gives meaning and purpose to life. But the happiness that we gain through satisfying worldly pleasures of the senses is insatiable and do not last. Hence, we continually fall into remorse, dissatisfaction and resentment for failing to understand the nature of life. Worldly happiness is therefore claimed to be unreal happiness as they are subjected to impermanence.

As such, true Theravadins aspires to attain real happiness which is everlasting, not impermanent, does not arise and pass away, and beyond the five senses. It is thus our ultimate perspective of life to attain a mental state of perfected peace; to exhaust existence from the seemingly unceasing rounds of death and rebirth by leading not a religious, but spiritual life.

No ‘way of life’ should be justified or be seen superior over another (though justifiable from most religious point of view). It is purely experimental and a choice of ones own based on his understanding of the nature of life. Still at the end of the day, we are answerable to the life we chose. It is therefore of little use to self-proclaim, being hypocritical or genuine because ultimately, it is our conscience that matters. And so, perhaps it is time for us to contemplate and re-establish the purpose and meaning of life, consistent with the ‘real’ objective.

Good night, and good luck!

2008 Wesak International Film Festival

2008-06-08T02:15:00.000-07:00

More than ten Buddhist associations of different traditions in and around Klang Valley have come together once again, jointly collaborating effort and resources to organize the 2008 Wesak International Film Festival (WIFF) here in Kuala Lumpur. 12 full-length Buddhist-themed and inspired films, documentaries and animation from various countries will be screened over two weekends; June 14-15 and June 21-22 at Malaysia Tourism Center (MTC) of Jalan Ampang.

Purposed at creating greater public awareness of Buddhism through the medium of audio-visual, this will be the second held event since its pioneer success in 2006. Few worth noting and critically-acclaimed films and documentaries are Qi Xia Temple 1937, Amongst White Clouds, Buddha's Lost Children, Ten Questions for the Dalai Lama, Peace is Every Step, Lion's Roar and Milarepa.

Others include Fearless Mountain, Angulimala, Refuge in the Three Jewels, Oseam and Eyes of Little Monk. Admission is FREE while seats are available is on a first-come-first-served basis. For more details on the screening schedule, location, etc. visit http://www.wiff.org.my/.

Spread the news, spread the Dhamma!

Hard Is

2008-05-19T17:20:00.000-07:00

(For your contemplation on this auspicious Day of Enlightenment)

Hard is to be born a man; hard is the life of mortals.
Hard is to gain the opportunity of hearing the Sublime Truth
And hard to encounter is the arising of the Buddhas.

- Dhammapada v. 182

Light Up Your Life

2008-05-15T08:38:00.000-07:00

In conjunction with the coming Wesak Celebration, Taiping Insight Meditation Centre (TIMS) will be organizing its annual candle-lighting ceremony at Sasanarakkha Buddhist Sanctuary (SBS), here in Taiping. Other programmes include guided meditation by Ven. Aggacitta, Dhamma Show, sales of souvenirs, free distribution of Dhamma booklets, just to mention a few. Few donation counters will also be set up. Part of the collection will be channeled to the Cyclone Nargis Relief Fund while the excess will be used to finance the proposed TIMS Building Project.

Also not to be missed is the formal debut of SBS chanting box. Running on low powered batteries, this light-weighted cum portable mini box will make its official appearance during the Wesak celebration at SBS. Each consists of three recorded tracks, namely, Buddhanussati, Bojjhanga Sutta (see previous posts) and Sanghanussati. As to date, they are proposed not for sale but to be given away free for donation received. Proceeds will then be used to offset production cost, which approximates to RM6 per unit.

Those in or around Taiping on Sunday, 18th May (Wesak Eve) are most welcome to participate in the event. Gather at Hor Eeah shrine by 6pm for free 4WD transport uphill. See you there!

Seven-Factored (Part 2)

2008-05-12T08:56:00.000-07:00

Here, I will deal with the discourses on Bojjhangas as well as the practice of paritta recital and its relevance. As mentioned earlier, there are various discourses on Bojjhangas as given by the Buddha himself. Few notable ones involve Venerable Kassapa and Maha Moggalana, two of His noble disciples. On separate occasions, both Venerable Kassapa and Maha Moggalana were infected with diseases and subsequently they were gravely ill. So the Lord visited them and recited the Discourse on the Seven Factors of Enlightenment. After recitation, the Lord gave a discourse on it. As a result, they recovered from their illnesses.

Similarly on another occasion, The Buddha who was living in the Bamboo Grove was afflicted with a disease and suffered great pain. Then Venerable Maha Cunda approached the Lord and took care of Him. The Lord requested Venerable Cunda to recite the Seven Factors of Enlightenment. Subsequently, the Lord recovered from His illness.

It is less realized that listening and recitation of the Dhamma (discourses) have been a known practice even during the Buddha’s time for protection and deliverance from evil. These selected discourses for recital are known as Paritta (Protective) Suttas. In this context, the Discourse on the Seven Factors of Enlightenment or Bojjhanga Sutta is a paritta sutta and has been widely used for recitation to the sick and those in pain to promote recovery and well-being.

According to Venerable Piyadassi Thera, in his brief writings on The Value of Paritta Suttas, sutta recital is a form of Sacca-Kiriya, of depending on the truth for protection, justification, or attainment. Put it succinctly, it is the power of truth that protects the followers of the truth. If this principal is true that virtue protects the virtuous, the one who listens to these sayings with complete confidence in the truth of the Buddha’s words will acquire so virtuous a state of mind that he will be able to conquer any evil influence.

“It is understood that listening to these Paritta Suttas must produce, in the intelligent and confident listener only wholesome states which can cure and prevent illness…
Diseases are often caused by mental states. Body becomes ill because the mind controlling it either secretly wants to make it ill or because it is in a state of agitation that it cannot prevent the body from becoming sick…
There is no better medicine than truth (Dhamma) for both the mental and physical ills which are the cause of all suffering…”

The Discourse on the Seven Factors of Enlightenment is none other than the ultimate justifiable truth; following which will guide one towards enlightenment. May we then rejoice over this very Truth and hence be protected from all physical and mental suffering, evils, enmity, and danger.

“Dhamma Have Rakkhahati Dhamma Carim”
(The power of truth protects the followers of the truth)

Sadhu! Sadhu! Sadhu!

Seven-Factored

2008-05-10T10:32:00.000-07:00

(There was a time when my mother when physically and mentally distressed, I e-mailed Venerable Aggacitta and requested for a relevant passage to chant for her well-being. He suggested Bojjhanga Paritta. Out of curiosity, I went to conduct some research on the subject and was very much surprised by my findings)

The enlightenment-factors are reckoned thusly:
Mindfulness, investigation of Dhamma, energy, joy, tranquility
The enlightenment-factors continued further;
Collectedness and equanimity
These seven,
Which the All-seeing Sage has rightly taught,
When cultivated and frequently practiced bring about the super-knowledge,
Nibbana and Enlightenment
By this utterance of truth,
May I always be safe.

- translated extract of Bojjhanga Sutta

These seven, namely, mindfulness (sati), investigation of Dhamma (dhammavicaya), energy (viriya), joy (piti), tranquility (passaddhi), collectedness (samadhi), and equanimity (upekkha) are, as manifested in the Bojjhanga Sutta of Mahavagga Samyutta Nikaya, the contributory factors of enlightenment — the realization of the four Noble Truths. How true is this claimed? Or precisely, are these factors certain to lead the path towards enlightenment? How rational are the discourses on Bojjhangas as given by the Buddha? How is this then connected to the paritta (protective) suttas?

The term Bohjjhanga, by itself, is composed of bodhi and anga. Bodhi is often equated to enlightenment, while Anga is usually translated as factors or limbs. Bodhi and Anga (Bojjhanga) therefore denotes the means towards enlightenment or, in another perspective, the qualities of an enlightened self. Bojjhanga is also technically classified as one of the seven groups in Bodhipakkhiya-Dhamma (The Thirty-Seven Factors of Enlightenment). Though some of the seven factors may relate to/ overlap with factors of other groups (eg. four stations of mindfulness, the four efforts, the Noble Eightfold Path etc.), each group should be seen justifiable in aiding the progress towards enlightenment.

Here is the edited version of Bodhipakkhiya-Dhamma 37: The Requisite of Enlightenment, a note written by the notable Ven. Nagasena Bhikkhu. Heavy summarization is done on the original text and therefore could have possibly distort the actual content and intended expression by the said author. A look into the original text is hence recommended for extensive study or greater comprehension.

Mindfulness (sati) being the first on the list, is by far a significant factor of enlightenment. The practice of mindfulness is extensively explained and systematically delivered in the Satipathana Sutta. It provides the four foundations of mindfulness, namely, mindfulness of the body, the feelings, the consciousness, as well as the mental objects. Through diligent practice on these foundations with appropriate skills, one can be liberated from defilements, fully aware in observance of his bodily actions, emotions, mental-state and mind-objects without clinging.

Dhammavijaya, the second enlightenment factor is characterized as the investigation of mental objects. When fully cultivated, wisdom will develop as the practice penetrates the mind and its associated objects, in other words, to be able to see things as they really are. As the practice of Sati gives rise to the meditation part of the enlightened life, while the practice of Dhammavijaya gives rise to wisdom, together the accomplishment of both will signal the access to the four Noble Truths.

Energy (Viriya) is the third enlightenment factor. There are many sorts of energy in the world (eg. light, wave, sound energy, etc). Likewise, there are different types of energy in our minds (eg. mental energy of excitement, anger, calmness etc). Mental energies arise upon the experience between the external and internal objects of sense organs. However, in this context, viriya is different from that of material energy. It is the energy of wisdom, which is actively maintained through the practice of mindfulness (meditation) and wisdom.

Joy (Piti) is a state of mind that comes after the result of meditation. It is most apparent that an enlightened self needs energy to maintain his purity. One source is a joyous state of mind. The joy (and tranquility) of mind are key elements for the continuity of the enlightened life.

In relation to that, tranquility (Passaddhi) is a spiritual state of mind which arises after the joyous state. Joy still has a tendency towards excitement, whereas tranquility is the unexcited mind, manifests itself in calmness, controlled and peacefulness. In the enlightenment process, joy transforms into the peaceful state of tranquility. Thus, both joy and tranquility are mutually related in nature.

Concentration (Samadhi) leads to the tranquilization of the mind. When the mind is much tranquilized, there will be no room for defilements. Due to the energy of tranquility, concentration is easily attained, and concentration in turn supports stable tranquility. In this process, both tranquility and concentration are working together.

The final part of the enlightenment factors is equanimity (Upekkha). Equanimity is the ultimate achievement of enlightenment. The enlightened mind becomes completely stable, perfected by wisdom and peace. An enlightened self, for instance sees suffering neither with sorrow nor sympathy, but with a mind that is in perfect stability and of compassion. He is thus said to have abandoned all prejudice or discrimination.

In conclusion, it can be said that all the seven factors are inseparable and must work together and assist each other to maintain the enlightened mind. Hence logical and sense-making, these factors, as manifested and taught by the Buddha, may not be mere assertions but the ultimate truth that can be realized through gradual practice of insight meditation. Ultimately, they are experiential in nature and therefore only the wise (enlightened ones) can conclusively validate and justify the words of the Buddha.

Note of Appreciation

2008-04-14T08:52:00.000-07:00

This was supposed to be posted long ago but back then, I was inevitably busy with other worldly engagements. I hereby apologize for the delay and hence would like to forward my utmost appreciation to my closest college pal, Kean Jean for making my 21st birthday an exceptionally remarkable one! Pleasantly surprised, I was in total disbelieve to receive his ‘pre-arrived’ gift parcel — an exquisitely simple yet beautiful Memory Lane card and a copy of Rice’s most lyrically-melancholic album to date! What more to ask?! It was altogether too effortless and undeserving! Needless to say, I am most grateful and emotionally overwhelmed.

To my ‘long-disconnected’ ex-mates, Zhen Hui, Li Xiang and Guna, I sincerely thank you for the much surprising belated birthday dinner. I am most appreciative of your time and resources spent in making arrangement for the gathering. Also, special dedications to Wei Ping, Xuan Jing, Erny, Wen Shaur, Adrian, Kye, Alexel, Calvin and many others for your wonderful greetings and wishes on friendster or through SMS. Last but not least, I would like to convey my heart-felt thanks to everyone and may this joy be shared with all beings, near and far, unconditionally out of good faith, love and compassion. Sadhu!

"Look outside the sun is bursting through… filling up this room”

- Bic Runga, Bursting Through

The Hours of Ours

2008-04-12T10:02:00.001-07:00

After months of reading, I have eventually come to the final pages of Cunningham’s most masterful piece of literature to date. Subsequent to winning a consolation prize from the college inter-school book review competition, I was rewarded a RM50 MPH voucher for which I benefited to purchase a precious copy of The Hours as my 20th birthday gift.

After finalizing with some contemplation on the lucidly composed novel, I then come to understand the underlying essence of it. The 228-pages novel is certainly not less than three intertwining fictions across three different eras. Through close examination, it is a perfect depiction of reality, the insatiable desires in life and the resentment against both; having realized in the hours of an ordinary day.

Nothing is more worthy than the desire to live although delusion may mislead one’s truest survival spirit within. This is evidently represented by all leading characters in the novel. Mentally-destructive Virginia Woolf and the ill-dying Richard Brown both struggle in pain and misery to survive for their supposed worldly responsibilities. Both irresistibly cling on their obsession in writings, subsequently lose their talent, and thus find no value in living whatsoever. Their progress is of mere desperation to attain the unrealized desire, singled by hope to find satisfaction.

In contrary, Laura Zielski, the misrepresented homemaker finds more worth in dying than to live on and fulfill her motherly engagements. Constantly challenged by and deeming herself misfit to the role she is destined to uphold, she questions her functionality and struggles alone with discontentment and insecurity of her current position. While Clarissa Vaughn, Richard’s once-lover irresistibly clings on past happiness and yearns for its reoccurrence, it is altogether most apparent that these characters, even we ourselves seem to have insatiable desires that keep us moving forward but the attachment that generates dis-ease.

Consequently their choices are filled with distress and resentment as they conflict between domestic life and their fantasies. Almost believing that every individual deserves a desired, most extraordinary and exceptional life of their own in search for humanity, they resent the norm for failing them. Nevertheless, they too fail to convince themselves with absoluteness, without disappointment and out of unconditioned satisfactions for the choices made. Happiness sores and love despairs. No justification can seemingly be reached and only they alone can bring out the peace from within.

Perhaps, looking into what Cunningham meant (below), it is just part of life that we do confront such circumstances. It is the denial of this truth that brings about suffering as we hope for and cling on false idea of happiness. Arguing against reality; to insistently live in the dilusion of our self-created, imaginary, and perfected world is what brings about discontentment and suffering. Hence, we fail to live in the present and overlook existing enjoyment that we less value.

“Yes, Clarissa thinks, it’s time for the day to be over. We throw our parties; we abandon our families to live alone in Canada; we struggle to write books that do not change the world, despite our gifts and our unstinting efforts… We live our lives, do whatever we do, and then we sleep – it’s as simple and ordinary as that. A few jump out of windows or drown themselves or take pills; more die by accident; and most of us, the vast majority, are slowly devoured by some disease… There’s just this for consolation: an hour here or there when our lives seem… to burst open and give us everything we’ve ever imagine, though everyone… knows these hours will inevitably be followed by others, far darker and more difficult. Still, we cherish the city, the morning, we hope, more than anything, for more…”

- extracted from Cunningham’s The Hours (1999)

It is most agreeable that the novel has stimulated a sense of relatedness, using the stream of consciousness to accurately unveil our momentary flashes of thoughts and feelings in writings. Ultimately, it is not the justification of choices that matters, neither the insatiable desires nor the discontentment. It is the reality that has to be realized, the reality that lies in the hours of our lives. Then and only then, will we gain wisdom and find peace within, thus appreciate every moment with real happiness.

(inspired by and dedicated to Kye-Niarchos and C. Alexel, avid fans of The Hours)

An Androgynous Mind

2008-04-10T09:18:00.000-07:00

Tilda Swinton, accomplished art house and mainstream actress famously known for her androgynous looks, plays Orlando a young man who transformed into an ageless woman in the gender-bending themed film, Orlando, adapted from Woolf’s 1928 novel of the same name

“And I went on amateurishly to sketch a plan of the soul so that in each of us two powers preside, one male, one female... The normal and comfortable state of being is that when the two live in harmony together, spiritually co-operating... Coleridge perhaps meant this when he said that a great mind is androgynous. It is when this fusion takes place that the mind is fully fertilized and uses all its faculties. Perhaps a mind that is purely masculine cannot create, any more than a mind that is purely feminine…”

- Virginia Woolf, A Room of One’s Own

Extracted from Virginia Woolf and Her World (1975) by John Lehmann, it was approximately two years ago when I first came across the above passage while reading the said comprehensive biography. I was immediately tempted to conduct some research with the intention to gain insight into the rational of such assertions. From the findings made on this intellectually written extended-essay, I learnt that Woolf has attempted, without fail, to highlight the potentialities of a fully cultivated mind that is apparently androgynous in nature.

She progresses on six chapters for which she points out in agreement with Coleridge’s view concerning the supremacy of an androgynous mind. Notably, Samuel Taylor Coleridge is one of the prominent Romantic poet and philosopher that advocate the concept of an androgynous mind. They both share a common idea that an androgynous mind is present when one is working at the absence of sex-consciousness, thus producing output at its highest capacity, without impediment and free from gender-biasness.

Woolf’s primary intention is to mold a character that possesses both masculine and feminine feature in a harmonious blend. She realizes that female writers are not given the resources and avenue to explore their subjects and techniques, forcing them to conform to social norms and expectation of the typical themes among female writers during the time. It has therefore led to radical feminist movement which often jeopardizes the neutrality of view in the writings made.

This further suggests that the society in this ‘sex-conscious’ era are working with prejudice in defending their superiority or wrestling against their inferiority. While granting rights to uphold equality may potentially promote exploitation, intellectual work suffers too by the influence and constrain of gender sensitivities. These cumulatively result in effort not properly channeled towards frank but constructive discussion on gender concerns for the growth of humanity at large.

In contrast, an androgynous mind, according to Woolf, finds objectivity in its relation with ‘reality’. Hence, it is not concerned with ‘itself’, but with its subject, independently. It is an approach of thinking that allows women and by implication men or vice versa, to write as themselves, still in a sexed body, but without the presence of prejudice that is linked to the body. In other words, to write without consciousness of sex is to see the piece of work for itself not as its author.

Woolf’s work however receives endless criticisms for the inherently ambiguous concept of androgyny is a subject of vast interpretations, and has been approached from various ideological angles. Some accuse her ideology as promoting biological dynamism; the belief that when sex is turned into a more ‘multiple’ or ‘diverse’ category than it has been so far, then social norms will be relaxed. Woolf nevertheless sees the multiplication of the self and celebrating the difference within the self as leading to creativity and freedom from sexual bias in literature, and not in any way liberalising biological dynamism.

Her concept of androgyny is also seen as destructive male-centred self-obsession, arguing that androgyne ‘transgresses the very existence of difference.’ Thus an androgynous mind is said to be narcissistic in which the subject destructs itself. Critics claim that, “Love of self inscribed in its seemingly homogenous unity does not make for glorious difference or internalised heterogeneity, but for a narcissism which cannot create and can only self-destruct.”

Critics have also gone beyond limits by linking Woolf's ideology of an androgynous mind to her sexuality, harshly argue that the concept is a repression of her own female identity. Critics put that her vision of androgyny is a “myth that helped her evade confrontation with her own painful femaleness and enabled her to cloak and repress her anger and ambition.” They further claim the body is something that Woolf fears and androgyny offers the chance to get rid of it.

Others perceive the concept as female-centred and in essence, promoting lesbianism. Woolf has been accused for seducing female audience into sisterhood, inviting them to collude and discuss women and writing in the absence of men. Thus, Woolf’s concept of androgyny is said to privilege the female and symbolically, lesbian. Such strong accusations bring us down to the very argument of the truest implication of Woolf’s androgyny concept from her point of view.

Though the term ‘Androgynous’ is often biologically used to describe individuals that are not distinctly masculine or feminine in appearance or behavior, Woolf takes a step further to examine it at a different angle. Since Woolf dissociates androgynous attributes as asexual (she believes that gender deviation is still important), it is apparent that, in my opinion, her argument revolves more on the ‘functioning qualities’ of an androgynous mind, a fusion that eradicates gender-consciousness.

Note that it does not imply an absolute absence of gender. Difference is to be celebrated still, but 'should exist within the individual androgynous self-fertilising mind', thusly achiving an androgynous mind that is united. Woolf highlights this point by asking,“What does one mean by ‘the unity of the mind’? She then points out, "The power of the androgynous mind lies in its ability to alternate simultaneously between a million different subject positions preserving heterogeneity at the same time as giving the impression of unity".

The degree of success in creating a pure and fully productive androgynous mind as advocated by Woolf is rebuttable. Nevertheless, Woolf’s honest intention is still unaltered; to promote a constructive creative force that eliminates gender stereotype, discrimination and prejudice in literature. Therefore it is never meant to instil colourless homogeneity, self-dissolution, fear of the body or narcissistic death. Woolf asserts that, “androgyny is the capacity of a single person of either sex to embody the full range of human character traits, despite cultural attempts to render some exclusively feminine and some exclusively masculine”.

Therefore extending the concept to the society at large, the wholesomeness of an androgynous mind could be made practical by cultivating a culture of awareness towards the transcendental, unbiased, and perpetuating mind of gender-fused. It is hence believed that individuals that promote a fusion of both masculine and feminine traits in mind will be able to jointly support and co-operate effectively. In that, attributes which are egoistic in nature, i.e. self-righteousness must be combined with considerable amount of sensitivity, compassion and understandability. Emotionally-charged qualities must in contrary, be neutralized through the instilment of objectivity, decisiveness and wisdom. Ultimately, the ability to access this ‘full range of character traits’ may be a rare commodity, perhaps logically impossible but not an unreasonable pursuant. An androgynous mind remains an idealistic concept, the highest form of attainment by any writer that aspires to be gender-less in mind.

“Perhaps a mind that is purely masculine cannot create (?), any more than a mind that is purely feminine…”

Path to Fruition

2008-04-08T06:38:00.000-07:00

Prologue
This, being the ambitious attempt to start a blog was long contemplated but little endeavors were present towards realization. It was until I happened to visualize that the potentialities of my limited yet invaluable spiritual knowledge being translated as a ‘Path to Fruition’. Path to Fruition is hence an experimental, holistic medium aimed at sharing views, thoughts and ideas, as well as practical knowledge and experiences towards spiritual development. Articles, reviews, analysis and commentaries soon to be found here are largely improvisations, while some on existing intellectual materials of deemed credibility. Thusly any inaccuracy or misinterpretation of facts, information, judgement, opinions, etc is subjected to as accidental or inherent erroneous.

Hereby I would like to encourage my dear readers to keep an open and questioning mind in assessing the validity and efficacy of any claims, theories or methodologies set here, firmly believing that we should all maintain an attitude of curiosity, be experimental and explorative and not quick at accepting information being authentic and dependable simply out of faith, fancy, oral tradition, theorising or considered acceptance of a view - Canki Sutta (MN 95). Perhaps and most appropriately, to travel the Path to Fruition requires one to be wise, analytical and selective in pruning only the factors that are conducive towards our often unique spiritual practices.

P.S: ‘Jin-almahdi Kilulu’ is merely a pseudonym. It is not, by itself, an alter-ego or another self-created entity. Simply, it is a means to articulate my affection towards life and spirituality. Therein (the pseudonym) lies a value most virtuous that reflects the attribute of sacredness. Originate from an Arabic term, ‘Al-Mahdi’ denotes the act of guiding one to the right path while the word ‘Kilulu’ is inspired by the name of a victimized African child character in the critically-acclaimed and humanity-themed motion picture, The Constant Gardener. The message that underlies is most evident; the realization of both wisdom and compassion; the fundamentals of every religion.